You’ve got that quacker into the trees down pat. You can banana with the best. But what separates your game from the pros? What keeps you on the munis while the big sticks get invited to play the exclusive clubs for free? You can’t throw it like a pro, that’s what!

Ever wondered how Anthony Kim and Tiger can let that driver slip effortlessly onto the tee box as they point to to right field? Babe Ruth couldn’t call a homer with more grace and elan, right? And how did Gary Woodland let that iron on 18 at Old White plummet to earth while he watched, disgusted, as his shot hit the green?

Our Pro-Line Grip Grease, that’s how!

Specially formulated to encourage a smooth release as the club decelerates, Grip Grease lets you sling it like a pro! Just rub a little Grip Grease on the clubs of your choice before each round. Guaranteed not to slip while you’re swinging for the fences, Grip Grease gives you total control of that fling on the follow through. With a slight release of finger pressure Grip Grease lets that club dive to earth like your favorite kite did on your eighth birthday. Remember how much that hurt? Remember the disillusionment when you realized the world wasn’t really fair and it didn’t exist just to make you happy? Remember … Oops, my bad. Got lost for a minute there. Give me a minute.

I’m back now.

Each order of Grip Grease includes our instructional DVD, with inspirational tosses of the club for you to emulate and suggestions for which clubs to grease. We’ll let you in on the secrets of picking the clubs with the most potential for spectacular misses and those with the best chance of good shots you can look profoundly disappointed with.

Grip Grease is also an excellent training aid! Put a little on your putter and you’ll stroke it with confidence. Just a few decelerations and those embarrassing putter drops will fix your problem pronto.

Have trouble committing to those tough shots? Tend to chicken out and decelerate at the critical moment before impact? Grip Grease can help. Your friends won’t ever let you forget that time you threw your wedge into the ball, so you’ll never decelerate again. Swing it hard, bang it long! Hang on!

Grip Grease is available only by special order, so act now. Supplies are limited. I’m almost out of bacon.