How The Lizard Got His Name

Once upon a time there was a group of five merry golfers. Games of skins and wolf under the bright Texas sun filled their hearts with joy, and cries that cannot be repeated in polite company echoed across the rough and from the deepest bunkers of the land.

On one very, very special day the Cowboys, Gallon, my humble self, and the Lizard-Who-Had-No-Name were on or near the green in earnest discussion of the affairs of the day. You must understand, oh my Best Beloved, that silence only made the merry golfers look up from their shot to see what had happened. Chatter was the reassuring sound of peace in this fine land.

Much to everyone’s surprise, the Lizard-Who-Had-No-Name chipped into the hole for a stunning birdie and a win. As is often the case, this delighted some of the merry golfers and disgusted the others. In wild celebration, the Lizard-Who-Had-No-Name called out “I’m a Chipping Wizard!” Indeed, I must in all fairness report that the Lizard-Who-Had-No-Name had been, and still is, widely recognized for his chipping skills. But this day was the first he had celebrated in such an unseemly fashion.

As the merry golfers trudged to the next tee, their chatter woke the squirrels in the trees and the ducks in the pond. So it was that all the wide, wide world witnessed the amazing transformation. The Chipping Wizard left the green as the Wizard but emerged at the next tee as the Chipping Lizard. None of the merry golfers accepted responsibility for this marvelous feat, but all were pleased.

And that has been his name from that day forward.

(All due apologies are extended to Rudyard Kipling and his marvelous Just So Stories.)

(Lizard image by Alberta p, Creative Commons License, via Wikimedia Commons)

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1 Response to How The Lizard Got His Name

  1. Pingback: Norman Mailer On Golf | fairwaywords

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