First, congratulations, Jason Dufner, on winning the Zurich Classic of New Orleans. I’ve been pulling for you ever since the PGA last year and was delighted to see you hang in there in the final round and win.

Jason Dufner. Image by Keith Allison, Flickr, Creative Commons Share-Alike License.

Now, a little advice from an old fart coming up on his 41st anniversary next week. During your interview with the Golf Channel you talked about what a great week you were going to have, with your first win to start the week and your wedding coming up next weekend. Congratulations, again. However, you said you were excited about “GETTING MARRIED FOR THE FIRST TIME.”

Do not say that again! I know you had winning for the first time infusing your gray matter, but take my advice and act like you have total amnesia for the interview. If your fiancee asks what you meant by that, act confused. Don’t try to explain it. It will only make it worse. Take a drop, like you did when you hit it into the edge of that pond. But don’t fish the ball out like you did. There’s gators in there.

Smile sheepishly. Get that far away look in your eyes. (You’re good at that.) Tell her how happy you are you won her. Take her out to the nicest dinner in town. (You can afford it.)

Just don’t ever say that again. That way be dragons, young man. Big, bad, dragons.

Have a great first (and only, I’m sure) wedding. And enjoy your first (and not only, I’m also sure) win.