My golf game has finally received the notoriety it deserves!
I live in the country, and it’s dead quiet outside on this Thanksgiving morning. When I look out my window, all I see are a few deer, a bunch of feral cats, and birds being stalked by those same cats, who are being stalked by other cats. I’m just 25 minutes away from the 7th largest city in the U.S., but you can’t tell it from here.
I’m about 10 minutes away (in the other direction) from the county seat, a little town with 3 stoplights but 2 weekly papers. I’m not sure, but I’d bet it was the town Robert Earl Keen had in mind when he wrote Paint The Town Beige – Keen was living here around that time and still has a ranch nearby. The papers do a good job of covering the local hard news, but they make a big effort to keep up with local folks – thus my sudden notoriety.
I mentioned a few posts ago that I’d returned from my layoff and turned in a decent round of 77. That performance in the stableford tournament earned me the position of top point getter for the week, and a featured spot in the weekly column written to cover those results. Keep in mind this is Thanksgiving week, the paper comes out on Wednesday, and the first page has big stories and pictures about the annual tea put on by the Episcopal Church and about the winner of the recent Cow Patty Bingo fundraiser. I love it here.
Anyway, I flip to the sports pages and there’s the report of my round, with a two line headline stretching across the entire page in bold 7/8″ high type. You can imagine how honored I am. The other stories on the page covered 8th grade basketball, 7th grade football, and the undefeated youth soccer team, so I was in pretty fast company.
All of you less famous folks have a nice Thanksgiving. I’m going to drive down main street and bask in the glow of my adoring public.