I’ve been considering getting back to active blogging and the golf rules changes, particularly the anchored putting ban, gave me the push I needed.

Several years ago I published a ditty on anchored putting on the anniversary of Dr. Seuss’s birthday. With no further fanfare and in light of the anchored putting ban, here is the sequel.

Farewell to Belly Putting

or

Will Your Innies Now Be Outies?

So now you cannot belly putt.
You must not jam it in your gut.
You must not anchor to your chest,
No matter if that’s how you’re best.

The belly putt is history.
They say it’s not a stroke, you see.
The belly putter, it’s still good.
You just can’t use it like you could.

So run that putter up your arm,
Your ball will roll just like a charm.
Don’t whine and claim that it won’t work,
It works for Kooch, and he’s no jerk.

You still can use the sweeper, too.
Just keep some air ‘twixt it and you.
So swing that broomstick free and clear,
It works for some that way, I hear.

Or maybe bend that sweeper ‘round,
Face the hole and stare it down.
It’s not croquet if you don’t straddle,
So be like Snead and putt sidesaddle.

But I’ll just go on left hand low,
It’s how I’ve been for years, you know.
I tried the broom, I poked my gut,
I learned one thing: I just can’t putt.