Would you like to belly putt?

Would you like to belly putt?
Hold that stick against your gut?
Swing it here and swing it there?
Make that ball go anywhere?

Or would you like the sweeper best?
Lock that stick against your chest.
Let it swing, just go tick-tock.
You can putt just like a clock.

Is anchored putting here to stay?
What do you say, USGA?
Can we use these special clubs?
No more yips? No more flubs?

Keegan Bradley, Adam Scott,
Billy Haas, you made them hot.
It’s been there for oh so long,
But did you win and make it wrong?

It was once just for old farts,
Those whose games had come apart.
But now young guns use anchors too,
Can we blame it all on you?

I still swing my putter free,
It’s like my other clubs, you see.
But should I care how others hit?
Should I throw a hissy fit?

I’ve tried them all, I still can’t putt.
Guess I’ve got a ticklish gut.
So I’ll keep doing what I do.
And other folks? It’s up to you.

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss, and please accept my deepest apologies.